His Deepest Fear
by Sammypenny
Summary: Snape is tasked with disposing of a boggart. One-shot.


Disclaimer: Not mine. I just wanted to borrow them and play with them for a little while.

A/N: I have no idea where this would fit in the timeline or if that would even be possible, but I wanted to tell this story from more than Snape's point of view so please don't try to fit it into Canon lol.

* * *

"Enter"

"Good, I was hoping you'd still be up Professor Snape," Filch said as he entered the Potion Master's office.

Severus lay his quill down and directed his attention to the caretaker, "What can I do for you Mr. Filch?"

"Sorry to bother you, but you see there's a boggart on the fifth floor in the classroom past the prefects bathroom…" he trailed off embarrassment and a touch of self-loathing in his voice.

Severus could never be described as a bleeding heart, but he felt a great deal of sympathy for the man before him. He too understood what it was like to be ill-treated and looked down upon. Having known the man for so long, he also knew that he tried his hardest to take care of things by himself, even when having someone else use magic would make a task monumentally easier. There was no non-magical way to deal with a boggart and Severus briefly wondered how long Filch had stared at his greatest fear before conceding defeat and finding him.

Severus got up from his desk and paused to clamp the other man on the shoulder on his way out, "I will take care of it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention," he paused again when he reached the door and turned back to say, "Hogwarts doesn't pay you enough, no need losing sleep to these ungrateful cretins," before sweeping out the door.

He heard Filch huff out a laugh and call after him, "Too right professor. Good night."

Severus strode silently through the halls, keeping an eye out for any said cretins out after curfew on his way to the fifth floor. He clenched his jaw at the thought of the task before him. He hated boggarts and sneered at the thought of yet another unpleasant task he was required to attend to.

* * *

Hermione sighed happily and donned the invisibility cloak once more. She hadn't been able to sleep and finally gave in the urge to borrow Harry's cloak and visit the prefect's bathroom. The boys were definitely rubbing off on her and she tried not to feel guilty about breaking the rules. The warmth in her now relaxed muscles definitely helped. Things had just been so stressful recently and this had been the exact thing she needed.

She stepped out quietly into the corridor and closed the door behind her as silently as possible. She winced as the door closed into place and made a small clack. She darted her head about making sure the corridor was still empty and breathed out a sign of relief.

Her relief lasted only a handful of steps however as she heard the soft creak of the stairs behind her. Automatically going into panic mode, she quickly dashed into the nearest classroom, hoping she hadn't made too much noise.

* * *

Sometimes the castle baffled Severus, the creaking stair constantly changed and he always stepped on it. He had automatically memorized the step when he had first begun teaching and skipped it on his patrols, but after a few months, the step below it began creaking. His legs were long enough to skip two steps but after a few more months the step above the original creaking step also creaked. Not being able to skip three consecutive steps without looking ridiculous, he tried treading as lightly as possible on the middle step and he thought that had worked. However, after a little while, it began to creak again and he realized that the creaking step was changing position instead of multiplying. Once he realized that he had tested out his hypothesis several times. Once that was confirmed he tried to fix it. Still early in his teaching career, he had spent a whole night examining the current creaking step and could find no physical flaw nor charm or hex. He had become somewhat obsessed about it until he found himself ranting to Dumbledore one evening and the Headmaster had chuckled at him and simply told him that the castle had a mind of its own. He hated that step, he couldn't help but feel that the castle was laughing at him every time he heard the blasted step creak.

Annoyed with the step and his most recent task, Severus stormed down the hallways and slammed the classroom door open.

* * *

Hermione barely held back the yelp as the door slammed opened and Professor Snape strode in. He looked as though he was in a right fury and Hermione couldn't help but think she was doomed. However, to her surprise, he strode to the front of the classroom, away from Hermione and lit the torches with a wave of his hand.

He paused in front of the cabinet tucked into the corner for a moment before making a curt slash with his wand. The wooden doors blew open and the telltale movement of a boggart appeared.

Hermione's curiosity took over her and she edged to the side a little so she could see what the boggart would transform into. It boggled her mind. It was very difficult to think of Professor Snape being scared of anything. Quickly, she realized how foolish she was. It would be Voldemort of course.

She had to bite back a gasp as she was proven wrong. Lying on the floor with dead eyes in front of Professor Snape was Harry's mother.

Snape was standing completely still, the line of his back rigidly straight, his wand stiff to his side.

Why wasn't he doing anything? Hermione took an unconscious step forward, towards the scene. Again, she barely held calm enough to not jump backwards when the figure on the floor began to move. Hermione watched in horrified fascination as Harry's mother rose from the floor like a zombie, her skin deathly pale and her eyes void of the light and energy of Harry's eyes. Snape didn't move a hair and still he didn't cast _Riddikulus_ on the creature. The creature stepped toward him with an arm raised, her finger pointing accusingly at the Potion Master.

" _You betrayed me,"_ the creature wheezed out, " _You killed me!_ " it accused.

Finally, Professor Snape moved, but Hermione was shocked again to see him stepping even closer still to the creature. He lifted his non-wand hand towards the creature's face, nearly touching its cheek.

Hermione barely made out the soft, "I know," from her professor.

She had never heard him sound like that before. He sounded defeated and anguished.

" _I will never forgive you,"_ the thing spat at him.

The soft reply of, "I know," nearly broke Hermione's heart and she couldn't stop the tears forming in her eyes.

After a brief second, Hermione saw Snape step back and square his shoulders, but instead of the spell she expected, she was again surprised as the shape before him became a whirling mass changing shape, half forming an image before morphing again as if it couldn't settle on a shape.

After watching the boggarts attempts at transformation she realized that it couldn't figure out Professor Snape's deepest fears at the moment. Then it clicked and she whispered to herself, "Occlumency."

She hadn't realized that she had said anything out loud but Snape whirled around and she flinched as he scanned the room with narrowed eyes. His nostrils flared and with a flick of his wand the window flew open, letting in the crisp night air. Another flick and the still morphing shape disappeared into the dark of the night. The windows snapped shut again and Professor Snape began moving slowly in her direction, his eyes constantly scanning the empty looking room.

Hermione's heart hammered in her chest and she was sure he would be able to hear it. She saw him flick his wand slightly but nothing happened. He did this several more times and she guessed he was trying disillusionment and revealing spells. He was getting nearer to her, but she was rooted to the spot. She dared not move for fear of making a sound.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when he spoke.

"I may not be able to see you, but I know you're here," his voice was soft and deadly.

He paused as if for dramatic effect and she saw his nostrils flare, "I can smell you."

Hermione felt like she was going to die. His voice became taunting, "I never figured you for one that would use such floral soaps, Potter."

She cursed her earlier bath and pulled the cloak away, revealing herself. She wouldn't let Harry take the fall and her discovery seemed like an inevitability anyways.

In the back of her mind she let herself be amused at the look of shock that briefly registered on her professor's face before it turned stormy.

"Miss Granger," he hissed with venom and she flinched, her eyes downcast, unable to meet his angry eyes.

She began babbling without thought, "I'm so sorry sir. I didn't mean to spy on you. I had just finished taking a bath and heard something so I jumped into this classroom. I didn't know you would come in here," her voice was tiny and pathetic when she finished.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor and two weeks detention with Mr. Filch," he sneered.

She nodded her head in acceptance, still looking determinedly at the floor. He stepped closer to her and she suddenly felt his wand under her chin. She shivered in fear as she was forced to look at him.

"If you ever mention this to anyone," he hissed.

"Never," she quickly said before he finished his threat. To her surprise, her response didn't come from fear but understanding.

He blinked in surprise and she felt his wand withdraw from her chin.

She swallowed before continuing, "I'm sorry. That was highly personal. I had no right," she tried to convey her sincerest apologies and hopefully her sympathy as well.

She saw a moment of confusion in his eyes but it was quickly replaced with narrowed suspicion and his nostrils flared again as he bit out through a clenched jaw, "Get. Out."

* * *

She fled.

Back in her dormitory, she couldn't sleep. She couldn't help but run the night's events through her mind on repeat. His despair as he quietly repeated those two words to the boggart tore at her. As the sun rose, she resolved to look at Professor Snape in a different light from now on.

* * *

A/N: I was randomly thinking about what form Snape's boggart would take on. Although Voldemort discovering his true alliance or something of the sort comes first to mind, I couldn't really see him being that scared of the future. I felt that he would be resigned to the future and what horrors it might bring. I thought, he has already lived through his worst fear and it clearly still haunts him.

I tried to imagine Snape casting _Riddikulus_ on an image of a dead Lily, but it just seemed impossible. I don't think he would have it in him to change that scene into anything remotely funny let alone laugh at it afterwards. I couldn't see him becoming overwhelmed by the image either and he is Snape after all, so he would most definitely have a solution prepared.

It makes sense to me that a boggart would have to access your mind in order to understand your deepest fear and Snape is the most powerful Occlumens in the world after all.

This is the part that broke my heart and made me want to write this fic. He knows what the boggart is going to turn into and even if it is a pretend dead Lily who hates him, he wants to see her. He is consumed by guilt and feels that he deserves her accusations. He accepts them as truth and feels compelled to accept them again instead of using his Occlumency straight away.

I hope I was able to convey that and I hope you enjoyed it.

Also, the justifying the creaking stair kind of ran away from me lol.

 _Sammypenny_


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